Thursday, January 15, 2009
Notice I didn't say "surviving"? There's a reason for that. It makes us sound like we are somehow victims of life's ever-changing journey. I was brought up believing that. I thought that I was on a roller coaster ride and someone else had hold of the wheel. It took a long time for me to realize that at every waking moment of every day, I was creating my own painting of the future. How could I be a victim if I was the one holding the paint brush?
That's when I started to look at other people differently. If I was painting my own picture, weren't they doing the same thing? Funny how that brings the BIG picture into focus. I'm not as sympathetic anymore, but since then I've begun living more "in the moment", ever mindful of the future I'm creating. Change doesn't scare me at all, because I know now that I'm the one who most likely caused it.
Now don't misunderstand me. We don't ask for lightening to strike. Sometimes there's no shelter from the impending storm. All I'm saying is that I've discovered how to tell the difference!
There's been quite a few changes around here lately, and I'm holding myself accountable. My biggest problem is that I'm a "yes" person. I want to help everyone, and quite often it gets me into trouble. I bite off more than I can chew. I'm a "people pleaser", and it seems to be hard-wired into my brain.
While working on a new Picture Book assignment, I got side tracked. The holidays snuck up on me and BAMM! I had multiple things going on all at once. My mouth, the one that's attached to my hard wiring, agreed to all sorts of things that are now getting in the way of the future I was creating! I lost my vision and my life's painting has begun to look a a bit muddy. But I have the advantage that "victims of life" do not! I know how to change what is.
Cleaning up your own mess isn't fun, but that's what I'm doing. It's working too, because I feel like I'm picking up steam and plowing through the haze. In less than two weeks, my new site- "The Visual Storytellers Showcase" will be up and running. It's a new gallery for some of the best Children's Book Illustrators in the nation to show off their best work to the viewing public. I'll be inviting critics, editors, publishers, teachers, parents and more, with the hope that publishing will be offered and contacts made.
I have also made progress on updating my web portfolio, soon to be re-opened. And I've started writing again....okay, well a little bit. Big messes take a while because the changes keep on comin'!